Men vs Women,
1. NAMESIf Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, theywill call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionatelyrefer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUTWhen the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throwin $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anythingsmaller and none will actually admit they want change back.When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEYA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMSA man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The averagenumber of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A manwould not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTSA woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATSWomen love cats.Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kickcats.
7. FUTUREA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESSA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife canspend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. Aman marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UPA woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty thegarbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A manwill dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURALMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRINGAh, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knowsabout dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of someshort people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAYAny married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in twopeople remembering the same thing.AND FINALLY.....A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying aword. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither ofthem wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard ofmules and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

2 comments:

Shi-Lynn said...

Disagree. Cats piss me off. And I only have about 200 items in my bathroom. That's not even close to 337.

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